Thursday, September 29, 2005

Romance Can be a Hair Raising Experience

...but thanks to one of my birthday presents, I am now prepared.

Romance from your man is always a nice touch. That is until it becomes flammable. Sit back and read my little experience...

My Mr. Hottie had invited me over for dinner at his house. I was looking forward to a nice, relaxing evening, just the two of us, and since we had no obligations for the next morning, I was staying the night. When I arrived, I found not only dinner waiting for me, but his huge jacuzzi tub filled with bubbles. Now you have to understand his jacuzzi tub is deep enough that the first time he filled it with bubbles for me he had to let out some water so he could even see me! Yes, I hear the oompa loompas singing in the background as well...but I'm serious when I say this tub could seat four adults comfortably...not that we've tried it mind you, but where was I?...oh yes...my story.

So there it is...this great tub full of bubbles, a bottle of wine and two glasses, and candles lit all around the tub....I can already hear the giggles starting around the blogdom because you know where this is headed.

Yes people, we had smokin' sex. Literally. No sooner had I said to him don't let me catch my hair on fire, one good thrust later and my hair flies into a lit candle! We smelled it at the same time. I see it out of the corner of my eye and reach up with a handful of water and bubbles to put it out while he's letting me know it lit up like a torch and he thought the Olympics had come back to town!! We're both laughing, I'm snorting bubbles up my nose since I'm looking down to get closer to the water, and see charred hair in my hand. Needless to say, after the laughter subsided, the candles were quickly moved to the corners out of the way, but I am happy to report that the smell of burnt hair does not kill the moment. Hell no it doesn't!!

So what was one of the presents my Mr. Hottie gave me for my birthday? Yes, you guessed it. A fire extinguisher!! It's even better that he marked out particular words on the box and added new instructions. I now have an extinguisher that is "powerful protection for your hair" :) He was rather proud of himself, but he had every right to be...it was damn witty!

In the future, oh romantic men out there in blogdom, please remember that if you are going to get jiggy in the jacuzzi, make sure you measure the length of her hair before placement of lit candles.

Or have a fire extinguisher handy - just in case!

Monday, September 26, 2005

Not Dead - I Swear!

Between my "hair raising" experience, my birthday, and the recent change at my job, I just haven't had time to blog. I hope to have a full update soon. Funny stories and shocking revelations for all who blog by...

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

May/December Relationship

...is all about acceptance.

Tomorrow begins the official celebration of THE birth month...Ms. Mous will agree I'm sure. But the realization will also hit home this month when another "year" will roll around on the age gap in my May/December relationship.

As my birthday draws near, and being the super googler that I am, I have become obsessed the past couple of days with researching this new "trend", as it's being called, of the older woman/younger man relationship. Apparently almost one-third of today's women in their 30's and 40's are dating younger men (at least 10 years younger). I have read that most other women, like myself, didn't plan to end up dating younger men - it just happened that way.

Since my entrance into the single digits again, not only did I find myself being attracted to younger men, but they were attracted to me. True, most were surprised when they found out my true age - which I have never lied about nor held back - but also surprisingly these younger men didn't seem to mind. Now I will admit the vibe I was sending out at the time was the "I am not looking for a relationship, I'm here to have fun and you won't change that" but looking back at the men that stuck around for awhile; none of them really cared about the age difference. Which brings me to my Mr. Hottie.

There are a significant number of years between us. He's closer to my son's age than mine. I'm just a handful of years younger than his mother. Which may cause some of you to stop and do the stereotypical "What the fuck are you thinking?" It's okay...I've seen those looks already though the question hasn't actually been spoken. I've asked myself the same question to be honest. My answer each time was and still is, "Having the time of my life!"

Just like any other relationship, though neither of us were looking to become a part of a relationship at all, we've gotten to know a lot about each other, especially since his revelation back in July. We've both spoke of how when we first met we thought we would have a lot of fun together and that would be it. Neither of us expected the feelings to grow. There have also been a few hurdles. Sometimes it's best not to jump them, but just knock 'em the fuck out of the way! Of course if you read my blog you know I've also had my misfiring brain kick in which doesn't help me at all when I think of dealing with his ex-wife and the fact she wants him back. Honestly, I can't say I blame her. The difference between us? I won't put up a fight. My man will choose to be with me and will do so willingly. I will not coerce him nor oblige him to be with me. I've been in that type of relationship before and it sucks - big time. Mr. Hottie has chosen me...and has made that clear to me...and to her.

I've also been reading about the things that attract the May/December relationship...and no it isn't just about the sexual compatability. Don't get me wrong - that part rocks! But it's a number of other factors as well. My Mr. Hottie seems older than he is because he is more mature and "together" than some men I know that are MY age. He has his shit together. That's attractive all on it's own.

When asked if I think it will last, I reply, "How do you know if any relationship will last?" No relationship comes with a guarantee. Though I'm still trying to find my "zone" in this relationship that doesn't attempt to resurrect my own demons to try and fuck it up, I remember that the confidence he saw in me was what attracted him to me in the first place. So rather than letting my own demons hinder me I'm following his views and generating the confidence within myself again.

He gave me his number that day for a reason. I'm the same person I was then. The only exception is the happiness he has brought by being a part of my life...every part of it.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

I Hate When My Brain Misfires

...as it wants to do quite often lately.

First off, thanks for the comments about my hankerin'. I understand the restraint some of you mentioned - and the nekkid comment gave me the giggles - but I still want the tattoo and actually had it priced last night. Not as expensive as I thought - praise be - because I am friggin' broke! But I can set aside my pennies and give myself a Christmas present. Ms. Mous, I want it directly opposite the other one. At least that way I would match. :)

Now as for my brain misfiring. Why do women obsess so much over their bodies? I swear it's a glitch in the Matrix. It is such a pain in the ass (Ms. Mous is laughing right now) to look at yourself in the mirror, change clothes 10 times, and obsess over what YOU think you look like. Especially when you hear the wonderful comments others say about you...and not just those sweet things those that love you say.

Unfortunately I have found myself spiraling again. Down into that very unhappy, unhealthy place that I tend to hibernate in when my self-esteem hits rock bottom. What sucks is it's all ME talking to ME! WTF?! I was just past the point of the "fake it til you make it" phase of my life. Instead of the wallflower, I was truly feeling the confidence in myself and it showed. Now thanks to my own inner demons, I second guess myself every damn day.

Of course I can't pinpoint exactly what brought it on. I never really can. Yet I'm back to the point that every little comment that is body related about any woman, not just myself, I pick apart and dissect until it's like an eyelash under my contact lens. In some shape, form, or fashion, I can make it relate to me. Drives me fucking nuts!!

It's all so stupid really. As a smart, mostly logical (okay...okay...I AM a woman and we DO think with our emotions from time to time) woman, I know better - though it may seem that I have just fallen off the turnip truck. At least I was riding shotgun until someone opened the door and shoved me out - that's all I'm screamin'.

I'm not as "transparent" with it as I would like to be either. My Mr. Hottie has been wondering what's bugging me lately. Hold your "beast" Ms. Mous...I told him. Wonders never cease, huh? So what does he do? Stops my office today and brings me a single red rose.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

I Have a Hankerin'

...how's that for a good southern term?

I made the mistake of walking into a tattoo shop this past weeked with my Mr. Hottie. What began as the search for the perfect tat for him ended up becoming the current obsession for me.

Why can't I just win a truck off ebay like Ms. Mous???

Oh no. Not me.

The majority of people in my life know I already have one tattoo. Now most of you are probably thinking I have a cute little heart the size of a dime permanently seared on my epidermis. Ehh! Wrong!

As my impending "big" birthday approaches - yes the entire month of September is my birth month and gifts/donations are accepted daily - I can't help but think back to my birthday two years ago when I decided I wanted to buy myself a tat. Though I said it was a statement to celebrate my birth, it actually became a testament of my life experiences to that point.

I wanted my tattoo to have meaning. To my way of thinking, if you are going to have someone burn ink into your flesh it should have some sort of meaning, right? Since I've always been intrigued with celtic lore and symbolism I thought the two could mesh together quite nicely. After lots of searching, and deciding the exact placement on my bod, I chose the perfect symbol to represent my life so far.

Maiden, Mother and Crone in the eternal Celtic mysteries of the feminine. The intertwining design captures this natural relationship, also reflecting the earth's cycle through 24 hours: daylight, then the darkness of night, then daylight once again. The Triple Goddess creates an atmosphere of Stability and Security.

Considering what my life had been up to that point and that I had just been wise enough to get out of my marriage, I thought it was a perfect celebration in more than just my birthday. It symbolized exactly who I am. However, I was fortunate enough to get a very talented man to not only draw one more intricate than this one, but he was also the artist that completed the ink. It's about 3 1/2 inches from point to point - and strategically placed.

Once you get a tattoo they really do become addictive. The friend that went with me to get mine made me promise I would wait at least 6 months before I even started looking again. She was right. I would have gone back the next week for another one, but I kept my promise and then money became the issue. (Those little suckers aren't cheap!)

Now that the urge has hit again, I'm still of the same thought. Anything I have put on my body of permanent status will mean something. It's two years later and where am I in my life now? I've been searching again. And though that poor sot on ebay that "gave away" his forehead and body parts for advertising for a mere $2,500 may have had a good idea, I've decided that I will fund this one all on my lonesome. I think the search has ended. This is what I found.



This knot represents the intertwining of the ancient Celtic people. It is a symbol of the peace within oneself, in one's relationships, and with others.


The inner symbol caught my attention because of the similarity with the tat I have already, but the outer woven design caught my eye as well. Once I read the meaning, I knew why this symbol spoke to me. Though I still fight my inner demons from time to time, on the most part I am truly at peace with myself. The relationships that I have chose to surround myself with bring me peace as well. The peace I have with my children and the peace they have come to know since changing the equation; the friends that I have that know and love me for who I am - even those I may not see as often as I like; and the peace I feel when he is with me.

Tell me what you think fellow bloggers and feel free to share your tattoos too.

Monday, August 15, 2005

Now it's Just Plain...Damn Woman!

...peer pressure...I give! I give!

Okay, Ms. Mous I am officially blogging. Are you happy? Well you should be, that's what I'm screamin'!

As for the goins' on in my wee neck of the woods, I had an incredible weekend beginning on Friday with my "baby" girl's birthday. How the hell did the age of 12 happen? The kids and I played hooky and spent the day at Six Flags. We had a blast and I am a typical "kid" and love each and every ride there. Finally got to ride Superman which totally rocked! However, much to my dismay, I have discovered there is a change about me that has come with the downhill spiral of my 30's. Dammit! I am sad to state that I have a tendency to succumb to motion sickness. Last month, when we went to Six Flags for my son's birthday I was prepared and took the non-drowsy formula of Dramamine. Great day! No worries! No green around the gills. But, Ms. Not So Bright Over Here forgot about this little "problem" and forgot to take anything this trip. Walked off the Batman ride looking like a ghost. Walked into the first shop and bought Dramamine. But, alas, didn't realize it was NOT the non-drowsy formula and took two yes TWO of the little fuckers! An hour later finds the kids on a ride without me, my ass prone on a damn bench trying not to fall asleep. I knew it was REALLY bad when I got a phone call and heard myself talking like I was on a four day drunk! The "may caused marked drowsiness" line on the back of the package should state, "Will knock you on your ass. For your own safety, please assume the prone position prior to taking or at least be near padded furniture."

I felt like I was ruining my girl's day, but luckily saw a sign that you could buy a second day pass to the park for $10. I bought four. Now I can make it up to her and got four tickets for the price of one. Still a bargain shopper while under the influence.

The call I received while otherworldly was from my Mr. Hottie inviting us to dinner at his house for a birthday celebration. Pretty damn sweet huh? As usual the meal was incredible. We all had a good time and considering some circumstances he's been under was a night he said he really needed.

Saturday night I got all dressed up for my Mr. Hottie (and he aptly looked his name) and took him to dinner in the city and then stayed the night at his place for the first time. This time, Ms. Mous, I could see he only had eyes for me. Thought you'd be proud of my observance considering I'm usually oblivious to things.

All in all, it was a great weekend and this coming weekend I'm taking my first "vacation" in four years. True it's only a weekend trip, but it's AWAY and there is no work involved. WOOHOO! It's also my first trip with Mr. Hottie. Can we say, "hot damn watch out?!"

Thursday, August 11, 2005

It's About Damn Time Woman!

I am happy to report that there is a new blog added to my favorites. You've heard me refer to Ms. Mous quite often and that woman has FINALLY decided she should have her own blog!! About damn time sister!

Hark...listen...there are gasps of awe and applause heard 'round the world.

This dear friend of mine is not only one of the funniest people I know, but she is also probably the wittiest. She also has an insight that I turn to for advice more often than I am sure she cares to admit.

In conclusion, she rocks! So will her blog.

(P.S. Not so nice Master)